End of My Latin America Journey

“Game Over! Please insert coin…”
.
For the last 24 hours, I was continuously thinking of whether to continue to Nicaragua after Cuba, or going back to Turkey.
.
Seeing my parents in Cuba, after 8 months of traveling alone was destructive for my emotions. Feeling the home again, to escape this place, the uncomfortable hostel life, drifting away from one place to another, seeing hundreds of people and saying them goodbye in a few days, the tiredness of running around, planning everything 1 day before or even night, eating similar foods… Funny that, I was trying to escape my life&home 8 months ago before coming to here in September…
.
Much it turned out to be a daily task after some time. Like waking up and going to school/job every morning. And got boring&same except the differences I try to create on that day if I was willing to.
.
I remember the first day I stepped on Belize from a port in December. It was my first time in life to be left alone far away in the world with a backpack, in a country that’s not really heard and I don’t know much (I actually started in Guatemala, but living 3 months in there made me felt like a citizen). I was panicked psychologically, felt in an emptiness, thinking how will i survive, what will i do, where will i go, what can i eat, what if something happens. Hahaha i go back and try not to laugh myself now.
.
It started thirsty. Waking up early everyday in search of adventures, going everywhere, planning things that are gonna be tiresome, throwing myself to unknown things in joyful manner, making my own “off-the-beaten-path” without much tourists in Central America on chicken busses, like I was actually dancing to a very nice music; I was in harmony with those merry, energetic Caribbean songs:
.
Hear people chantin’
Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot!
Keep up the spirit,
Come on let’s do it.
Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot
.
I never thought it was gonna end or change over time slowly. Its the most common mistake of humankind, maybe… Began to lose my spirit to do new things or meet people, felt tired, sleepy, started following other people’s common paths instead of going village by village on my own. Over time lost my adventurous, curious, childish, spirit; became a short term tourist of cities. Though I was also in struggle with myself inside, to not to give up & surrender.
.
For example, I remember, how i curiously went to street food vendors for dinner in El Salvador: I was hungry for people, not for their food, to experience their country by directly hearing from them… Hahaha…
.
And in Peru, which was one of my last countries, it turned out like this: “Fuck, I’m so tired, I wish somebody could cook and served me. I’m gonna eat quickly, ignore everything and die to sleep in hopes of never waking up for 2 days…But wait, it’s not right…Push yourself Ogulcan…Wake up Neo…”
.
I gave up today at last, found a relatively cheap flight to Ankara, bought a ticket in front of my parents, although I wanted to finish this continent, especially experience Galapagos Islands&Otavalo Market of Ecuador, Medellin, Bogota, Cali Cartegena of Colombia…
.
My coins are finished to continue this game. I’ll save up some more and come back to this amazing continent again, to finish what I’ve started… Though left unfinished, what a journey it was!